FINALLY: FRIENDSHIP IN FRANCE :-)

Though I gave toast to several friends this past sunday, I think I owe at least one blog's worth to their great contributions to my life.

I can recall my first couple of interactions with acquantainces back in September. They were quite awkward and forced...

And though I am NOT shy by nature, I was quite insecure about meeting new people, having felt intimidated by my accent/my poor vocabulary and my rather negative state of mind/frame of reference. (That is, between learning my new trade, adjusting to my disppointing break-up with C, and while working on my French, I wasn't in "TOP FORM.")

Putting my awkwardness right out in the open, I had told some collegues that I didn't know ANYONE in Strasbourg, and had asked them if they would like to join me for a drink or two some evening after finishing up work. I felt like a weirdo asking young girls out on dates...so it's no wonder why I got turned down :-) haha

But not by all. One collegue at the Gymnase was openly welcoming and charming right from the start; an older fellow - a Classics teacher (Greek, Latin, French)asked me if I'd be interested in joining his theater group. Though I wasn't able to find time to do just that (due to babysitting) I was able to enjoy many an outing over one year's time with him- noon-time lunch outings every other Friday as well as random hiking/biking & cultural excursions. I didn't take him up on his invitations to go to Protestant celebrations, but Thanks to Marc (this was his name) I was able to see my first Professional Opera in Strasbourg. Marc also helped to cultivate my taste for French wine, and French poetry. A real CLASSY man, along with his classy wife named Martine.

In addition, yet another collegue of mine, shortly after being turned down earlier in the school year, told me that she'd organize a little outing with some of her friends so that I could "get myself out there." I guess she pitied me! :-) Though I didn't quite FEEL LIKE it, I knew it was important to try and do just that. That first group-outing was less than ideal for reasons I still cannot understand, yet little did I know that it was just the beginning. When you're alone in a foreign world, NOTHING feels like "just the beginning." Even for an optimist, it's difficult to see the horizon.

Consequentially, having given up temporarily on forcing friendships with the majority of strangers, I looked forward to hosting an acquaintance named Travis at my place (who ironically, I had met in Germany during June 2009 through friends of C's, even though he attended, Boston College as had I) while he was to attend a philosophy conference at the University of Strasbourg.

Thanks to Travis, at the end of 1 week's visit, I was able to meet an acquaintance of his, named Xavier (who HE had met at the Goethe Institute the year prior.) Travis, knowing and sympathizing with my state of mind, had encouraged me to get to know Xavier, along with his friend, Sophy & I'm sure glad I took his advice.

Xavier and Sophy first and foremost introduced me to a GREAT bar downtown, and to the local-hub in Strasbourg named "Freres Berthom." They also invited me to join the CREW team in Strasbourg, and though I ended up backing out (having been much too busy taking French classes after work on top of babysitting) I was able to appreciate OTHER physical and non-physical activities with them. Xavier, for one, was a history buff and was of PROUD Alsacian heritage. For me, though, he was much more than this, because he represented/exemplified what a DECENT FRENCH GUY is all about :-) A fantastic (and single for those who are interested) speciman. Personally speaking, I was only interested in engaging a friendly relationship, which allowed for great ease even biking out, and listening to a music festival together at the ZENITH in Strasbourg (Rodrigo y Gabriela, and Archive!) among other groups...

Sophy, on the other hand, was a young and lovely architect and sports-enthusiast (yay rugby!) Consequentially, in having met them both, I learned a lot about the region of Alsace: having visited the Alsacian musuem), the chocolate museum (which I visited by myself, per chance, during one of my bike-rides through the countryside), and having learned about the little-known mythologies of the Cathedrale, and funny sterotypes about the French...

Through babysitting too, I was able to meet a Brazilian au-pair, who took care (near full-time) of the same girls for whom I did weekly babysitting. Between our long conversations about babysitting, children, and about our general impressions of France, we passed many long nights together - during which we danced, drank, and visited local hot spots, on bike or on foot. Dancing and eating, whether shared in the company of her previously-upcoming/hidden, to her outwardly-established boyfriend, named Bruno - another Alsacien Frenchie - were definitely our most preferred activities, if I can speak for all of us!

It wasn't much later, when in October, 2 English professors from my workplace (one with whom I did that first outing, named Anabelle) had asked me to join them to eat several times at an IRISH pub (The Dubliners) after which point, both had encouraged me to be in touch for other events and activities. Whether it was to watch the television series called "How I Met Your Mother" (which I had was unaware of, despite the fact that it is an American television program...) or to do l'accrobranche" (advanced tree-climbing), karting, or chilling in the school's computer-lounge (while grading, listening to utube clips and other nonesense way beyond working hours) we passed many a good time together, to say in the least. Anabelle was an inspiring teacher, and yet also a realization for me - that I'd NEVER "be" THE teacher she had proven herself to be!

With the other quite "exquisite" English teacher named Petra, (an American originally from DC) I enjoyed sharing lots of movie-nights at the old-fashioned theater, intimate sushi dinners over pyschological talk, and going on quick runs. Whether it was all together, or just the two of us, we'd sit and eat & have a couple cocktails (or non-alcoholic drinks) talking about this and that: ALWAYS the most randommmmmmm conversations, however!

However, these two professors, among being good companions for one activity or another, helped me to figure out some French customs...for one, what to avoid...

Most strikingly, one man at school seemed to have the hots for me, and though I had taken him to be married (aged 40-45 or so) and thus "harmless," having ALWAYS spoken about "the lady at home," it so turned out that the "lady at home" was his MOTHER, and that his invitations and outings for dinner downtime were thought to be "romantic." Knowing this character fairly well, I was advised to be DIRECT rather than "sincere" or "charming" in telling him - without a smile - that I wanted a PROFESSIONAL relationship ONLY.

I was also informed about the pitfalls, and advantages of French culture; thanks to all my new friends, having learned that I OUGHT to be more "up" on customs and traditions if I were to be "accepted" by the posh society in which I was living/working...in Strasbourg. (That is...a FRENCH community that didn't even believe or engage in watching le foot! WTF!?!)

To fix this problem/issue, Petra thoughfully introduced me to some French intellectual friends of hers with whom I did a language exchange; avec Jean-Francois I worked on my French, and in exchange, with the wifey, Emmanuelle I was able to work a bit on HER English. The two were MORE than interesting, and generous persons; I loved passing evenings at their home over simple (scumptious) dinners and good conversation...something to be missed.

Needless to say, come Decemeber of last year (2009), or once my repetoire started to build, I felt more and more at ease with people from work, as well as with strangers. My attitude, or facial expressions must have been obviously altered for others to see; after all, collegues and strangers started to join in on some outings!

And as a result, my small group of friends began to expand, most notably when Xavier introduced me to a couple MORE of HIS friends, PPN - "petit papa noel" (aka Matthieu), and JS (Jean-Sebastian), another two OUTSTANDING French guys, whose company and fun Frenchie personalities I will greatly miss.

Indeed, one evening I took it upon myself to introduce JS to Anabelle, having thought they'd hit it off, and chances had it: I was actually RIGHT this time around; in fact, it wasn't even the first time they had crossed paths...what a small world. I look forward to hearing how things end up between them...? I hope PPN will meet someone lovely, as he too deserves to be with someone special, and not to mention Xavier!

Speaking of which, PPN impartially (accidentally?) ended up introducing US to a bunch of HIS friends just ONE week before my departure (which is a whole different story - detailed in the posting entiled "Serge Gainsbourg style.")

And still, I regret to have avoided contact with a handful of other acquaintances, including one young man from Kehl, Germany named Peter from the French class I had taken from October-Dec of 2009. I had the sense he was looking for more than I was willing to offer, be it in the very least a friendship...I just wasn't interested.

However, Ana from the very same French class at C.I.E.L, was a GREAT contact, with whom I had little ACTUAL "contact." Luckily I managed to have just one opportunity to dine with her, at which point Ana helped me to organize my trip to Spain. Having invited me to dinner at her apartment in Strasbourg, I was grateful to learn a thing or two about Spanish hospitality :-) A nice change in the mix, I should say. Along with the parents for whom I did babysitting, she too worked at the European Union in Strasbourg...an evidentally TIME-DEMANDING JOB.

And speaking of time-demanding, this is one thing I'll never understand: the art of staying in touch...but I'll save that for a different posting altogether.

With many fond memories, fantastic photos, and hopeful wishes of days to come, I am very greatful to have met these listed persons, who most notably SAVED me from being TRULY "Alone in Alsace."